Tuesday, October 31, 2006

You're all beginning to make me nauseous...

If one more person, my age, who's been in a relationship for any amount of time under a year, gets engaged... I might actually toss my cookies. No joke.I just can't understand, and I don't know maybe it's because I'm not there, how someone can jump into something like this. It's supposed to be a life-long commitment, and I think that either these people just don't think about that, or are under the misconception that there's always a way out if it doesn't go the way they expected it to.
But how can you expect it to go a certain way when you're so young that you really don't know yourself, and you've been dating for such a short period of time that you can't possiby really know your significant other.
And if you're going to be together "forever" then why can't you wait, just a little bit longer, to make it offical?
When you're this young, you don't even know if you're going to be talking to your best friend this week or next, you argue about stupid things and are honestly quite immature. How can you have a real marriage and be able to love and support your significant other when you aren't really even mature enough to take care of yourself right now.
You all have the stress of just finishing school, or just beginning a new career and you're adding so much more to that. Imagine just finishing school and getting married, and then having to start your career and learn how to be an equal partner in a marriage and manage finances together, find a home, and figure out all of the little details.
I know, I can't really be one to talk but there are so many examples of people out there who wish they would have just waited a little while. Wish that they would have just given it some time, and maybe they would have figured out that it just wasn't going to work, and not have to deal with divorce, or living in a marriage that they just aren't happy in. Usually by the time it gets to this point there has been so much time and effort invested in this relationship, and maybe there is a child involved, and they just don't want to let go, they want to force it to get better. Force it to work.

I understand that you're in love and happy and so excited about this person right now. You just click. But maybe if you gave it time, you'd figure out that this isn't who you want to be with, or you'd see that people change, even in short periods of time. You need to look at reality, while in the midst of living in this little wedding fantasy.

Consider that you are contemplating spending the rest of your life with someone.

This isn't JUST for young people to look at. Even older people need time to adjust to being in a relationship before jumping into something as serious as marriage. If my dad's second marriage has taught me anything it's that you really need to know what you're getting into and who exactly you are making this commitment to... and if you don't, then don't forget the pre-nup.

I just know that when I get married, I want it to be forever, not just legally, but in the real sense of marriage. I want to wake up everyday knowing that I love someone, that they love me and that we've made a life-long commitment to each other that we are more than entirely happy with. That we can't wait for every new part of married life to come our way. That we want to experience everything together and just be with each other.
I want to know that we have the same views on finances, children, where we want to live, how we want to live our lives
I don't want to have to figure it out as we go, not the major things that you should know about each other, anyway.. I want to know that no matter what kind of decision we're going to have to make together, that it's something that we agree on, or that we are willing to compromise.
On so many things too. I want to be able to talk about stupid little things, like what our kids would call their grandparents, whether we'll even have kids, whether we'll get a dog, are we both going to work, will we have two cars etc. etc.
There are just so many things to look at, to wonder, to decide..I guess I just can't understand how someone can feel ready, at my age, to make decisions like that, and stick with them.
I'm not saying that it's a bad idea for EVERYONE to get married so young, but in today's society what are the odds that it's going to last?
Pretty slim, I'd say.
Heck, I know Ange already has her first and second weddings planned.. just goes to show you how our society is changing I suppose.
I know I'm young. I know I'm immature and I have no idea what the heck I'm going to be doing this time next year. But I do know that when Nathan and I broke up and he told me that if I hadn't started a fight about Britney (which, allow me to add, I was completely right about) he had been planning to propose to me that weekend, instead of breaking up with me, I definetely breathed a sigh of relief. Not because I wasn't marrying him specifically, but because I know that I was much too young and I know that I wouldn't have been able to say no.
Not because I just wanted to get married or something, but because when you're in a realtionship with someone for as long as we were, you just sort of assume that you're going to end up together and that would have naturally been the next step.
And as many times as we argue and he thinks he's throwing it in my face that we could have been getting married, I could have had my perfect ring, and my perfect dress (Oh leave me alone, I've had them picked out for as long as I can remember), it doensn't bother me. It just wasn't meant to be at that time in my life. I don't see how it could be.

Okay. I'm done. This was my rant for the week.. hopefully the only one lol...

****With my luck, I'm going to look back at this sometime next year, engaged and planning a wedding and think, "Wow. Am I ever a hypocrite." ugh.****

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